My First Real Crush

I would have liked many girls in my teenage but I call this as my real crush as I can still visualize the first look; after all that’s what crush means.

First Year engineering walking towards the Mechanical department a pretty girl caught my eye; cute face, red t-shirt, black jeans. My feet froze for moments and I continued to gaze till the world around me stopped. I was far away from her but didn’t move in either direction. She had a million watt smile and I continued to gaze. My world resume when she went away.

I never had the courage to speak to her. I was too shy to even think about it as that kind of courageous task I only used to do when my senior would pass order to collect girl information as part of interaction activities (read as ragging). Normal life resumed and those memories got buried in some corner of my brain. Months later, I participated in Punt Formation event of my college. The event is about making unique formations by positioning multiple boats at certain place and angles. As luck would have it, she was also participating in same event and was assigned the same boat siting right in front of me.

The practice continued for almost a month and even being so close, I hardly spoke to her. The discussion was always work related like force of paddle, position of anchor etc. The only other interesting conversation I heard in 1 month was all girls discussing about number of roses they got on valentine day; so cliched.

We planned an outing post event and I distinctly remembered how I skipped multiple rows in bus to tie friendship band to her. It was ultimate level of desperation for unknown reason. She also tied one to me. I had kept that band for almost a month till last thread was torn and it breathed for one last time before being buried. It was point of pride for me and reason to tease for my friends.

The next 3 years we hardly spoke to each other apart from occasional acknowledgment and greetings. Maybe I never developed courage to think about her or there were no real feelings. We never were in touch post college days and I had made no attempts. We fall in lots of relationship with sweet and bitter feelings about them. But I don’t think of anything when I remember this incident.

As Lorreta Young said, Love isn’t something you find. Love is something that finds you.

She was a real crush in true sense with no feelings developed in future.

Just one sweet memory when I saw her for the first time!!!